“Have you got games in your phone?”, she asked 3.000 times and after each I answered, real annoyed and looking desperately towards her parents, “No, I’ve got this cellphone for over 3 years and it crashes every 5 seconds. It won’t survive a game”. I really hoped that her parents would get the hints but they just looked at her proudly. She’s little, has curly hair and life seems impossible without her iPhone. How can she lives without it when she’s had one at 4?
I get it! Parents want the best for their kids. My parents did the same. They got me everyhting i wanted because they loved me. What did they get back? A whining, crying monster who wouldn’t stop crying whenever she didn’t get what she wanted. It took me years of war and not having a specific place to call “home” to realize that my parents aren’t always in control of everything. They can’t get me what I want whenever I want.
The Iraq war has changed me and mould me into a whole new, maybe better, person. But not every kid is “fortunate”, in this sense, to go through what I went through to learn what I learned. When I look at the kids nowadays I can only think of how shitty they will be as adults. And who’s to blame? You, parents!
You don’t have to say “No” all the time. You don’t have to shout and hit. You don’t have to be strict (all the time). Children deserve to be encouraged and rewarded when they “do good stuff”. But if you’ve never said “No” to your kids, someday they’ll grow up and get a zillion “No” and that will be quite a shock, trust me. A 4-year-old does NOT need an iPhone. Why on earth does a toddler need an iPhone. There you have my cousin who’s in first grade and has her daddy’s old phone. She commented the other day on one of my aunts posts with a selfie. A selfie where she did her crossed eyes thing (Idk where she learnt that from). This selfie will haunt her for the rest of her life. But my cousin, and the regrets she’ll have to deal with when she grows up, isn’t the only one. If your kids’ age consists of one number, then they’re probably too young to own a cellphone.
Yes, you can help your kids with their problems. After all, kids are just those little, unexperienced human beings who need some guidance. But don’t expect them to learn how to solve their own problems, if you’re doing it for them.
There’s this arabic proverb that goes like: “In the eye of his mother, a monkey is a gazelle”. Of course, parents always think that their children are perfect. But they’re NOT!. Nobody is perfect, remember? But if the idea of being perfect is ingrained in your kids mind, they’ll grow up to be (you guessed it!!) shitty adults. Because who loves being around someone who think too high of themselves? Not me! So next time your beloved son or daughter gets in a fight (I know because I’ve been in a lot of them) with their cousins, friends or classmates, just leave it to them to solve. Trust me after 20 minutes they’ll be best buddies again. Talk to them! show them what they did right and what they did wrong. But please, for your own children’s sake, don’t tell them that they’re holy and flawless.
There’s nothing wrong with loving your children. But life isn’t all roses and sunshine. Your children will have to learn how to take on responsibilities. They will have to know that they might sometimes be wrong and how to fix their own problems by themselves instead. Your kids worth much more than playing all day long Xbox or scrolling down their social media. Your kids deserve love. Real love. not material love. Give them what they truly need and they will thank you when they grow up.